I Have Bad News Funny Jokes
I dropped my knife and cut off a toe
After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.
A husband and wife are in a car crash
They are both badly injured, but recover soon enough. However, the wife's face was badly injured during the crash and she needs a skin graft to replace the skin on her cheeks.
The doctor says "The good news is, we know just the place to find the skin for your cheeks." He turns to the husband and says, "The bad news, however, is that the skin needs to come from your buttocks."
The husband quickly agrees. The wife says, "Honey, are you sure?" He says, "Of course, you're my wife, I would do anything for you!"
And so, the operation occurs. The wife's face is as restored as can be.
A while later, the wife says "Honey, how can I ever thank you for this?"
"You don't need to. I get all the satisfaction I need when my dear mother-in-law kisses your cheek."
Mental Hospital
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
For my cake day, a joke...
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
Doctor tells his patient "I have good news and bad news..."
Guy says "what's the bad news?" Doctor says "you have cancer, it's terminal." Guy starts wailing "Ohhh that's terrible! Oh my god! I can't believe it! Well what's the *good* news then?" Doctor says "you see that blonde bombshell receptionist? I'm *fuckin'* 'er!"
Good news
The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The patient said, "Give me the good news."
"They're going to name a disease after you."
Nescafe and the Pope
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers,
"Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to
donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from
'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily
coffee."
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the
Lord. It must not be changed."
"Well," said the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For
this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed."
The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer.... We will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give
us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'"
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonder-Bread account."
Good news, bad news
A man gets a telephone call from a doctor. The doctor says: "About this medical test I did on you, I have some good news and some bad news."
The man asks for the good news first:
"The good news is that you have 24 hours to live," says the doctor.
The man, incredulously: "If that is the good news, then what is the bad news??"
"I couldn't reach you on the phone yesterday."
A Painter and a Gallery Owner
Painter: How are my paintings selling?
Gallery Owner: Well, there is some good news and some bad news. A man came in the other day and asked me if you were a painter whose work would become more valuable after your death. When I told him I thought you were, he bought everything you had in the gallery.
Painter: Wow! That's terrific! What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: He was your doctor
A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.
He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken
The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.
100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.
Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.
One billion dollars. This is our final offer.
After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.
I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.
A painter got a call...
from the gallery that was showing his work. The gallery owner said, "I have good news and bad news. A fellow came in this morning and asked if your work is the kind that would increase in value after the artist's death. I sad yes, and he bought all fifteen paintings. The bad news is that he's your doctor."
You can explore good news bad news bonjour reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean good news bad news adios dad jokes. There are also good news bad news puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Baseball in Heaven
Moe and Sam, who were both 90 years old, loved baseball, and they had their entire life. One day, they were sitting together on a bench in their neighborhood when Moe turns to Sam and says:
"Will you promise me something? Promise me that if you die first and go to heaven, you'll come back and tell if there's baseball there."
Sam agreed, and made Moe promise the same. 3 months later, Sam died, and the next week Moe woke up in his sleep with someone calling his name.
"Who's there?" he called out.
"Moe! It's me Sam!"
"Sam! It's so good to hear you! How's heaven?" Moe asked.
"It's great, but I've some news, some good and some bad" Sam told him.
"Well tell me the good news first" Moe replied.
"Ok, the good news is that, there is baseball in heaven."
"That's great." Moe exclaimed, "What's the bad news?"
"Well, the bad news is that I was reading the lineup, and you're pitching on Friday."
Here's the good news (OC)
A guy goes to the doctor for his regular checkup. The doctor finishes up and invites him into the office.
"So, which first? The bad news or the good news?"
"Good news, doc", says the guy.
To which the doctor replies, "Well, you won't be needing any more annual prostate exams."
Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...
Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey sucks" in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the urine came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."
Good news and bad news.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Patient: Ok, well... Give me the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24-Hours to live.
Patient: How is that good news?!? What's the bad news then??
Doctor: I've been trying to call you since yesterday.
A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert...
The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."
A man is waiting in the doctor's office...
When the doctor comes in and says, "There's good news and there's bad news concerning your health. Which would you like to hear first?"
"Give me the good news first." Replies the patient.
"Well, the good news is we're naming a disease after you."
Bad news...
Doctor says, "Your test results have come back, and it's not good."
Patient says, "Give it to me straight, doc. How much time do I have left?"
Doctor says, "Ten."
Patient says, "Ten what? Months? Weeks?"
Doctor says, "...Nine..."
Baseball
A man, Tom was with his friend, Larry, Larry was about to die. "Let me know if there's baseball in heaven". said Tom. The next day as Tom was sleeping he woke up to Larry's voice.
"Tom, I have good news and bad news." "What's the good news"?
asked Tom. "There is baseball in heaven". explained Larry. "What's the bad news"? asked Tom "You're pitching Tuesday". said Larry
A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris
The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter escort the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"
An artist gets some good and bad news.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have some good news and some bad news," the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death." "When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy is your doctor !"
"Son, I have some good news and some bad news."
"OK..." he hesitated.
"Well, the good news is...I got you a replacement hamster." I said.
"A...replacement..?" he stopped, as a tear ran down his cheek.
"Yes, and that leads me to the bad news," I added, "You are adopted."
So, Schrödinger walks into a vet with his cat. The nurse takes the cat, goes into the room, and comes out 10 minutes later. "Sir, we have good news and bad news."
Today's Top Joke
Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."
"24 hours to live!!"
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
A man gets a call from his doctor
The doctor says "I've got some good news and I've got some bad news"
The man says "Give me the good news first doc"
The doctor replies "Well, they're going to name a disease after you"
Patient: "Gimme the bad news first!"
Doctor: "You have AIDS."
Patient: "What's the good news?"
Doctor: "You have alzheimer's."
Patient: "Well that's not so bad, at least I don't have AIDS."
Good news and Bad news
wife: i have a good news and a bad new.
Husband: i am very busy.Just give me good news.
wife: The airbags worked properly in our new BMW.
The Bad News...
A man goes to the clinic for an examination. After a thorough check up, the doctor tells him, "I have some good news and some bad news." Curious, the man asks what the good news is, and the doctor replies, "the good news is: we're naming a new disease after you..."
Guy getting test results from his doctor and the doctor says "we have some good news and some bad news"
"The good news is, we're going to name a disease after you"
Doctor Patient
- Doctor: I have bad news and good news. Which one do you want first.
- Patient: Give me the good news
- Doctor: OK, As per this report you have only 1 week to live
- Patient: This is good news ? What is the bad news ?
- Doctor: This report came in 1 week ago but I forgot to call you
The Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news
is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The gentleman was your doctor."
A woman who has just given birth has fallen into a coma.
After 7 months the mother finally awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: Good news, you had twins! a boy and a girl. They are healthy, luckily your brother named them for you.
Mother: Oh no, not my brother! he's so stupid! What did he name my daughter?
Doctor: Denise.
Mother: well that isn't so bad, and what did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew.
A lady goes to the doctor...
...when the doctor says, "I have some good news, and some bad news."
So the lady says, "Give me the good news first."
And the doctor replies, "Well, there's going to be a disease named after you..."
D:
A doctor walks into the room and says, " I have good news and I have bad news"
*"What's the good news?"*
"***I*** don't have cancer"
My favourite joke ever
So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger".
The Mother laughs and says, "Well then, whats the good news?"
"Its dead", the midwife says.
A doctor says to his patient, "I have good new and bad news..."
Patient: "I'd like the good news first"
Doctor : "Well, you're going to have a disease named after you..."
Two guys are delivering a piano...
.... on the 10th floor of a walk-up building. On the 9th floor they rest for one final time.
Guy in the front: "Dude, I got good news and bad news"
Guy in the back: "Tell me the bad news first."
Guy in the front: "We're in the wrong building."
Guy in the back: "And the good news?"
Guy in the front: "We only have one more floor to go."
Schrodinger is waiting in a veterinary hospital for news on his cat...
The nurse comes in and says
"Sir,, I have good news and bad news."
A picture worth millions
A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. And I think she could be right."
Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your secretary."
Husband: "I have good news and bad news"
Wife: "Tell me the bad news first."
Husband: "The washing machine broke."
Wife: "And the good news?"
Husband: "The dogs are clean."
A pilot is making an announcement to his passengers
"We got some good news, and some bad news. The good news is you guys will be on TV tonight!"
Before my buddy died I asked him if there was football in heaven.
A few days later I saw his ghost. He said
"Good news, there is. Bad news, you're playing in goal tomorrow."
Doctor: I've got good news, and bad news
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: They're gonna name a disease after you.
A Saudi woman in a doctor's clinic.
Doctor: Mrs Saud there's a good news for you.
Woman: Excuse me, it's Miss Saud not Mrs Saud.
Doctor: Miss Saud there's a bad news for you.
Mickey called the police because someone had written "Mickey Sucks" in urine in the snow in front of Mickey's house.
The officer told Mickey,
"I've got some good news and I have some bad news."
"What's the good news?" Mickey asked.
"The good news is that we were able to identify whose urine it was. It was Goofy's."
"How could the bad news be worse than that?"
"It was Minnie's handwriting."
Two carrots are walking together down the street,
One of them stepped onto the road and ended up getting run over by a car. The other carrot calls 911 and they take him to the hospital. After hours of waiting the doctor comes out
and says, "I have good news and bad news, the good news is your friend is going to make it, the bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life"
Translated Chinese joke
Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!
Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off
Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out
Bad news: The parachute failed midair
Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him
Bad news: The top of the haystack is smeared with sh!t
Good news: He didn't land on the sh!t
Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either
A man says to the doctor: 'What's the good news?' 'You've got 24 hours to live. He says: 'What's the bad news?
The doctor says: 'We should have told you yesterday.'
Doctor- I've got good news and bad news...
Take one of these pills every day for the rest of your life and all your symptoms will disappear.
Man- That's great! But I see there are only three pills in this bottle.
Doctor- Yeah, well... I was getting to the bad news.
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news
First the good news: we definitely established that you are not a hypochondriac.
A wife went to the beach and didn't return. A husband called the police.
The police came in a week.
- We have 3 news for you: good, bad and great.
- Let's start with the bad one.
- Your wife drowned - we pulled her out of the water.
- And what is the good news?
- We have picked up a bucket of large crabs from her body.
- And what is the great news?
- We'll pull it out again tomorrow. Let's go for a beer!
Putin is sitting at his desk, waiting upon the results of the recent election
An election official walks in and announces himself.
"Mr. Putin, I have good news and bad news. Which would you prefer to hear first?"
"Let me hear the good news first", Putin says.
"Okay, good news is that you've won the election! Congratulations!"
"And the bad news?"
"Nobody voted for you."
The head of KFC called the Pope
He said, "I'll give you a million dollars to change the Lord's prayer to give us our daily chicken."
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 10 million.
The Pope said no and hung up.
KFC called back and offered 100 million.
The Pope said, "You have a deal!"
The Pope got all the churches big wigs together and said, "I have good news and bad news. Good news is, we are 100 million richer. Bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account.
Schrodinger took his cat to the vet.
The vet said, I have good news and bad news.
A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck.
The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer.
Doctor, Doctor.
DOCTOR. "Mr. Jones, I have some good news and some bad news"
PATIENT " I'll take the bad news first Doc."
DOCTOR "We'll have to amputate both your legs".
PATIENT. "My God, that's terrible, what's the good news?"
DOCTOR. The guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes."
A doctor says "The good news is it's all in your head."
"The bad news is it's brain cancer."
Moses reaches the bottom of Mt. Sinai, gathers the people together, and says, "Alright everyone, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I got him down to 10."
"The bad news is adultery stays."
The Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display.
''I have good news and bad news'' the owner replied.
''The good news is that a gentleman enquired if your paintings will increase in value after your death. When I told them they would, he bought all the 15 paintings hanging here!''
''That's wonderful!'' the artist exclaimed, ''What's the bad news?''
''The bad news is that the guy was your doctor''
A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery...
The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
The man excitedly ~~replys~~ replies, "I'll take the good news first."
The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."
Bad news: I spilled coffee on my keyboard
Good news: It's all under control
A pregnant woman and her husband are reviewing the results of her ultrasound
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Wife: Start with the good news!
Doctor: Well, your son is going to be able to park wherever he wants.
As the patient recovers from laser eye surgery, the surgeon comes in asks if they want the good news or the bad news first.
The patient excitedly replies, I'll take the good news first.
The surgeon tells them, Well, you're about to get a new dog!
The Pope, Xi Jinping and Donald Trump are summoned by God
"OK", said God, "the world's gonna end in 20 years, go back and prepare your people".
The Pope prepared a great mass at St. Peter's Square and announced "Dear Catholics, I have good and bad news. Rejoice, for God is real, but also repent, for the end of the world is coming in 20 years".
Xi Jinping held a speech in front of the CCP. "Horrible news, comrades, not only is God real, he also told us the world is coming to an end in 20 years".
Trump tweeted "Great news everyone! God knows I'm important!"
Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed Trump Sucks in the fresh snow.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .
A man's wife is close to giving birth but he has to go away on business.
He asks his brother to look after his wife. A couple days into the trip and his brother calls from the hospital.
"I have good news and bad news. Good news is you have perfectly healthy twins! A boy and a girl! The bad news is they had to put your wife under for the birth. She's fine, but they needed names for the birth certificates, so I had to name them."
Father says, "That's not bad news. I trust you. What did you name the girl?"
"Deniece."
"Oh, that's a beautiful name! I knew I could trust you. What did you name the boy?"
"Denephew"
Several aristocrats are having a party on a cruise ship, when the captain comes down and interrupts.
"I have some good news and some bad news," he says. "Which do you want to hear first?"
"Good!" everyone says in unison.
The captain says, "We won eleven Oscars!"
After a long and serious operation, Edna ended up in a coma.
Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news, "We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good, I'm afraid."
The doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice. Ralph looked at Edna and with a soft trembling voice said, "But doctor, she's so young she's only 48."
"37," came the weak reply from Edna.
A man goes in to his doctor's for an exam and the doctor says, "Well, I have good news and bad news."
The man says, "Give me the bad news first, Doc." The doctor says, "You've got a rare form of cancer. It's incurable and you have three weeks to live." "Oh my God!" says the patient. "After that, I'm glad there's good news. What is it?" The doctor smiles and points and says, "Do you see that good looking nurse over there? Well, I'm sleeping with her."
After attempting to climb Everest and failing, John has severe frostbite, hypothermia and goes into a coma.
After a lengthy and dangerous mountaintop rescue he's rushed to the nearest hospital, where after several days he finally wakes and is greeted by the Nepalese doctor.
Sir, I have bad news and good news. John, ever the optimist asks for the good news first.
Okay, the good news is the patient in the next bed has offered you a very generous amount for your slippers...
I found an old violin and a painting in the attic.
The antique dealer said, "The good news is you've got a Stradivarius and a Picasso. The bad news is Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Picasso made crap violins."
A man is walking his pet carrot
As he's walking his pet carrot it gets hit by a car. After rushing to the ER the man paces the waiting room as the doctor comes out exhausted from surgery. Doctor, is my carrot alive are they ok? The doctors sighs. I have good news and bad news. The good news is your pet carrot is alive the man breathes a sigh of relief. What's the bad news doctor? The doctor looks him in the eyes and says Well I'm sorry but, your carrots gonna be a vegetable for the rest of its life.
I know it's dumb it was just of favorite of my grandfathers a long time ago and I thought I'd share it.
A Frog Visits A Fortune Teller
A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.
The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, "I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
The frog asks for the good news first.
The fortune teller says, "You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart."
That's great!" says the frog. "But what's the bad news?"
Well, you're going to meet her in Biology class."
Joe Biden called a press conference, to discuss his meeting with Vladimir Putin…
The good news, is that Mr Putin told me that he wants peace.
After everyone cheered and clapped in relief, he added the bad news…
A piece of Crimea, a piece of Ukraine, a piece of Finland…
The bad news is, one of the earliest signs of cognitive impairment is the inability to finish sentences.
The good news Is
Good news! I finally signed up for a 401K!
Bad news: I work for a marathon organization
A man asks a fortune teller what Heaven is like.
The fortune teller gazes into her crystal ball and says "Hmmm, I see good news and bad news. The good news is that Heaven has many golf courses and they are all incredibly beautiful".
"Great!" says the man. "What's the bad news?"
"You have an 8:30 tee time tomorrow morning".
A doctor tells his patient, "I have some bad news."
The patient replies, "Oh no doctor, what is it?"
The doctor answers, "You have Alzheimer's."
The patient freaks out and says, "Oh my goodness, and the bad news?"
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news....
The good news is that we've definitely proven you're not a hypochondriac.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings at that time.
"I have good news and bad news", the owner replied. "Which one would you you like to hear first?"
"Give me the good news first."
"The good news is that, a man enquired about your work and wondered, if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it will, he brought all fifteen of your paintings."
The artist exclaims, "That's wonderful. What's the bad news?"
"The man was your doctor......."
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